The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!

I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I’m just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. ūüėČ

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
I don’t claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them…yes, I think I might make this a habit‚Ķ

And for clarification‚Ķdating is for research..I will not give into “selling out” and you will not see any symptoms of “bitchassness”…on my part anyway.

-Your feedback and comments are welcome…all in the name of research! lol

Chapter 8

“Do a Pole Dance for me Catalina”

“Don Juan” and I went on our first date‚Ķ.and well, I’m not sure what to think‚Ķ..

And so it begins…..the first date….

He says our date will be a “surprise” which is nice because I LOOOOOOOOOOVE SURPRISES
He just tells me to wear a cocktail dress if I have one…I did so I wore it!
He had suggested I meet him at his place and I thought that was a good idea because I wasn’t ready for him to know where I lived yet (please keep this in mind for later)‚Ķhey I don’t know this guy and I also thought, if I’m having a bad time, I don’t have to wait for him to bring me home.

So I get to his place and am trying to find parking by his house; I call him. He says that I could either A, pull up to his building and he would hop in my car, lead me to his parking garage, I could park, and then we would take his car on our date or I could B. drive us. I of course chose A‚ĶI’m in a dress and heels and hey, he invited me so I thought that was a no brainer. He hops in my car and says “Wow, would you mind driving us, you have a much nicer car than I do.” Well what was I supposed to say at that point but “ok, I guess.” He continued with “I drive a Mitsubishi Montero Sport and it’s filthy, this is much more fitting.”

**Guys, if you ask a lady out on a date, YOU DRIVE. I was all dressed up in heels and a dress, and he’s going to have me drive us on the date HE invited me on?! No, No!.**
He said his car was filthy. I don’t care what you are driving, if you invite the girl, get your shit washed, and drive her! If you’re dating that’s different or even if it’s more of a casual meeting for coffee or something maybe, but not a formal date, because guess what, if I invited you on a formal date‚Ķ.I would be picking YOU up!**

Well really in my mind, the guy had come off as such a “ladies man” and that he knew EXACTLY how to treat a lady‚ĶI didn’t expect that from him‚Ķ.but whatever.

So I drive us to the “surprise location” and we pull up to Anthology. If you haven’t checked it out, you should FOR SHOOOO
Turns out they have concerts there. That night they had the French group “Les Nubians”. It was jazz in French so I couldn’t understand most of it‚Ķbut it was sexy‚Ķreally really sexy! The food was really good too. Well, with that said, I quickly forgot about the whole driving thing. All I wanted to do was enjoy his company, the music and the food‚Ķ.It was a lot of fun, we danced, laughed and we were getting to know eachother.

The concert ended and we are heading out‚Ķ.we run into a friend of his, and he introduces me‚Ķ. “This is Catalina”
WHAT THE F!? I shook his friends hand and quickly corrected him, “actually it’s Lorena”‚Ķ‚Ķmy nervous humor came out and I just played it off but I was embarrassed‚Ķ.needless to say so was he. I just decided to be funny as to act like it wasn’t a big deal but really come on! I was beginning to think he wasn’t quite the ladies man; not as smooth as he came off to be that’s for sure! As we were walking out, he says, “I swear I don’t know where that came from, I don’t even know a Catalina” I just said “honest mistake it’s fine‚Ķ.”
I didn’t get to bent out of shape because to his credit, he has never called me by my name other than when he met me‚Ķ.He usually calls me “Mamita,” or “Princesa” which for those who don’t know, are Spanish come ons like “baby” which I don’t think anyone should be saying unless you are dating‚Ķ..super corny and I told him (playfully of course) “do girls you just met actually like that?”

He invites me back to his house for some coffee. I wasn’t going to stay long so I said ok. We get in to his place and lo and behold! A STRIPPER POLE smack dab in the middle of his living room ‚ĶOh dear Jesus!
I didn’t know what to say‚Ķ..I had never seen a stripper pole in someone’s home before‚Ķ.heard of it though lol.
He swore it wasn’t his. He was renting the condo, he just moved in and it was the owners. He said he actually thought it was a fireman’s pole‚Ķhmmmm really, I mean really!?? He tried to get me to dance on it‚Ķ I wasn’t having it‚Ķ

Moving on….

We begin some small talk and then he does it‚Ķhe opened the EX-FILE‚Ķ.and this all started when he kept probing about my relationship status‚ĶI didn’t divulge much‚Ķso he decided to instead. He said he just got out of a 6 year relationship in February‚Ķ.**** WARNING, WARNING, REBOUND ZONE**** This didn’t need to be brought up I mean really, I just wanted to get to know him‚Ķnot about his practically previous marriage‚Ķ.because now instead of just focusing on him‚Ķall I can think about is “REBOUND, REBOUND, REBOUND”

He had also mentioned something to the effect of me being his next girlfriend which added to the whole REBOUND warning. He went on to say that he was confident that this was going to lead somewhere. My mind began racing‚Ķ.I thought “ok, now to make a quick get away..hmm, if I take the firemans pole I can make a quick exit‚Ķ.oh yeah except it wasn’t a firemans pole, and it didn’t lead anywhere except from the ceiling to the floor (as a stripper pole would of course!) so that wasn’t going to work!

*Guys, be careful because girls can be scared off too sometimes. If it’s too much too soon, it’s a turn off and it will end quicker than anything even had a chance to begin. You don’t want to over crowd with questions like, “when are we seeing eachother again?, why are you so busy?, why cant we move in together after only a week (all symptoms of whiney cry baby syndrome better known as BITCHASSNESS!) **BEWARE, THIS DISEASE IS RUNNING RAMPID IN OUR STREETS!** ‚Ķno seriously I think most of my friends have been exposed! Time to QUARANTINE before it spreads!

I digress….

I responded to the girlfriend conversation and just put it out there, I said I wanted to take things easy…I am in no rush and I would really like to keep it casual for a while and really get to know someone before it goes anywhere else…. He said he was fine with that.

It was getting late and I was getting ready to go‚Ķhe puts on his “macho” (as I like to call it) and says, “Hey well if you should happen to think of me this weekend, feel free to call or text and I will do the same‚Ķ.maybe”
Wow, “maybe?” ok, so he’s playing cocky now‚Ķ.

Well I went home and didn’t really know what to think except that hey I hope he’s cool with us just hanging out for a while before we get married LOL LOL!
Well the next day all of that talk of him being ok with us keeping it casual for a while went out the window‚Ķ.He called me and wanted to see me that night and how he couldn’t stop thinking about me‚Ķ.(Didn’t I just see you?) Lol!

I told him I had some appointments that evening and I would call after and if he wasn’t busy maybe could meet at a coffee shop or something. Then again‚Ķhe brings out the cocky guy “well if you don’t reserve time with me now, I may not be available for you later” (WHAT?)
So I responded with, “ok, let’s just shoot for no then” I am assuming he was expecting me to be all “oh gosh no well I don’t want that, can we please pretty please see eachother again right now!”‚Ķ I didn’t see him that night or that weekend.


He wanted to see me that Sunday but I told him I had plans. He calls me Sunday night. He asked me if I had just walked home‚Ķ.which was odd to begin with‚ĶI said “No”.
Him: “Well I’m not one to be in your business but I’m just asking because I just left a gift on your doorstep.”
**keep in mind…I never told this guy where I lived**
Me: “How did you find out where I lived?”
Him: “Well I’m resourceful, and I mean I would never just show up at your house randomly but I was just thinking of you and wanted to give you a gift.”
I went to the door and opened it to find a plant (orchids) and a card. I was taken back. It was very sweet but I didn’t know if I should be flattered or scared.
So I just thanked him and said it was a very thoughtful and sweet gift. He did say not to look to much into it…”it’s just a gift”although the card that came with it said “take care of this as you would hopefully one day take care of us.”

After much thought and advice from friends, I thought I should just enjoy my gift, I deserve it right!?? and as my friend Liliana so eloquently put it “Enjoy it Lori because I mean come on, how many guys are doing that for you? and who knows how long it will be before a guys does that for you again.”

She had a point, but I got to thinking‚Ķ..if the shoe was on the other foot and a girl found out where a guy lived and delivered a gift, I’m wondering if the over all response would be “psycho biaaatch!”

Some of my friends thought it was a bit stalkerish but if he really gets that I would really like to take it easy‚Ķ.it’s a nice gesture

So the guy likes me what’s wrong with that and I mean really‚Ķwhat’s not to like?? LOL LOL!

I am just going to relax, have fun, and not read too much into anything…
we shall see….

Now some refreshers:

*Again guys and girls alike, first date conversation should just be about getting to know eachother‚Ķ.no talk of relationships or why you are single or why they are single‚Ķ.conversation should be kept light and fun! As I have stated in previous blogs, I know we use the “relationship status” as filler but that just sets the precedence of what you are looking for instead of just truly getting to know eachother‚Ķ.and if too much is said too soon, a girl or guy may be turned off as opposed to getting to know you first. If you let them get to know you first, when the baggage is revealed, they may be more willing to look over it, because hey everyone has their issues, it’s just a matter of getting to know if you like the person enough to get past it‚Ķ.and I doubt you can figure that out on the first date*

-You may be thinking‚Ķwell it’s better to know up front so you don’t waste your time‚Ķwell here’s what, everyone puts their best foot forward on the first date and if the “ex-file” is opened too soon, there’s a chance they will say whatever they have to say to put themselves in the best light. We all do it. No one is going to talk about the anger issues or jealousy issues they had with their ex without making it look like it wasn’t their fault‚Ķ.

So remember….keep it light, fun, TAKE IT EASY, relax, and just enjoy it for what it is…nothing more.

Happy Dating Everyone! ūüôā


  1. mycha3l
    July 31, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    hola lori,

    how has this one progressed? as i was reading it i got the distinct feeling of your instincts. i think you should trust them. to me just reading it i feel hundreds of warning signs being flashed thru your writing style.

  2. Scott
    June 25, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Ok … I really was tempted to comment on your previous post (ch 7) because I saw issues there but figured I’ve comments enough today. But I wanted to read the rest of your June entries before getting off line (ps … I don’t read a lot but I’m hooked). Anyway … after reading this I am a little confused.

    You’ve got great instincts … I’ve liked your insight in all your writings I’ve read so far and feel that others (even myself) can gain valuable knowledge from what you’ve experienced and your personal views. I (for the most part) agree with your views … but it seems to me that you are allowing an evening in a half of enjoyment with “Don Juan” cloud your judgement on the reality of the situation. There is a difference in having “game” and knowing how to play the game. From second one in your last post … it seemed to me that he was playing the game … not having game. You mentioned his confidence … and even remarked on it when it came to him asking to see you again. “We need to schedule it now” … that shines lack of confidence … not confidence. If he were confident … he wouldn’t be trying to get you to “sign with him” now.

    But seriously … he’s showing all the signs of psycho … and because you’ve had a couple nice evenings with him … you’re making excuses for him. If a showed a woman where I lived … and we had went out a couple times … I’d still be freaked out if she put something on my door or came over unannounced. I’d REALLY be freaked out if she said what he said in the card! It is time to “pump the breaks” bro before things get out of control … you’re going too fast and you’re about to cross the legality border. I agree with mycha3l … there are “hundreds of warning signs” … where is the Lori that would have recognized it … DAY ONE?

    Of course, I haven’t read on … and I’m sure that Lori has already figured it all out … but I won’t read those posts for a few days … and I’m annoyed with this guy today. ūüôā Sad thing is … I actually found myself rooting for him … I was hoping you finally met a guy who didn’t make all of us look like idiots … BUT ………..

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