My Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating.

This may not be the only post about this subject….. in fact, I may create a page on dating etiquette…period.

MY and I will repeat MY Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating…

Some of these seem harsh. But online dating (the initial before meeting with the person) has to be treated a little differently.  Run it like a business.  Have your qualifications and as you go through them, if they don’t meet them..move on to number 114. Yeah, it’s like “take a number” lol!

In no particular order:

DO NOT post pictures with your shirt off.  When I ask my parents how they have been together so long my Mom doesn’t say: “It’s because of your Dad’s 6 pack”.

No dude, your abs will not take us to our 30th anniversary.

Do NOT post pictures with the fucking scissor mafia gang (peace signs), it doesn’t make you look cooler.

Do NOT post pictures at the clubs letting everyone know “Hey I’m in the scene” whatever. No one cares and you will only attract club rats.

Do SMILE in your pictures….and show teeth! If you don’t show your teeth when smiling, you are hiding something! Possibly the fact that you.have.bad.teeth. gross. Girls like a guy that looks happy. Not cheesy. Happy.

Do NOT post pictures of you next to your vehicle or post pictures of your vehicle by itself. This is tacky. REALLY REALLY TACKY. And it makes you look like a douche.  I don’t care what you drive.  If you feel you want to attract attention based on your vehicle, you will alright..and all I will say is good luck with that.

Do invest in Photoshop. It’s tacky to see you and your arm around a scratched out scribbled out face..surprise! I still see it’s a girl there, or your illegitimate children.

Do not put tons of pictures of your activities. It’s great that you snowboard,  surf,  golf,  but I still CAN’T SEE YOUR FACE!

Do respect the age range, don’t be that guy.  The guy that thinks..oh she means everyone but me. No, I mean you too. If I decide to go outside of that age range…tell you what, I’ll go looking for you mmmkay?

When emailing. Don’t write me a novel. I promise I won’t read all of it. Sometimes less is more.

When posting your profile, try to be original.  I go through every single profile and it’s just about the same thing… “I love to work out, I’m at the gym 6-7 days a week, and if I’m not there, I’m at the beach.”  Umm, do you work??  It’s not necessary to post how often you go to the gym…because I.DONT.GIVE.A.SHIT.  You may have a nice body but when you are sooo proud that you spend THAT much time at the gym, it probably means you don’t spend much time working on the inside and probably means, you don’t like the occasional vegg out days either which I love. So it’s clearly not going to work.

There is already a space designated where you can input your interests and your amount of physical activity. No need to write it out.

This is indeed the straight forward truth because, well, look, online dating is different than meeting someone elsewhere. It’s like an online resume.

When you send your resume to a potential employer you put your best foot forward. It’s the same case in online dating. BE ORIGINAL. Check other people’s profiles. If a girl is looking at several profiles a day, how are you going to stick out? You want to get hired for the job don’t you?

It’s kind of unfair in some cases because some of the same people you may dismiss online, you would never dismiss in person but because they had bad pictures or looked self centered online, you now don’t want to even meet up with them.

That’s just how it works. You need to put a good profile up to get a good response.

Ok, so you don’t find that you will get much attention from your looks alone.  Then be honest and genuine. Do NOT try and be funny if you just aren’t. It’s so obvious when guys are trying to hard with their profile or cheesy emails.

If you need help with your profile, GET HELP. Turn to your friends, especially girl friends. You will be surprised with what works and what doesn’t.

If even after that, you can’t get past a first date with anyone, or can’t even get to a 1st date..then maybe you should do a little self evaluating because it might just be that you are in fact..socially inept which in that case, you shouldn’t be dating…at all.

That’s all…for now. 😉

9 comments for “My Do’s and Don’ts of Online Dating.

  1. February 19, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    I am soooo glad I never did online dating. So outta my element. I did find my guy in a bar though.

  2. alex
    February 19, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    There are more add points of interest (from a guy’s perspective and from worst offenses to least):

    -Don’t have any solo pictures of your pets. Only post 1 picture of you and your pet at the most. Yes, you love him/her and straight up telling your date that they are number 2 from your profile does not make me want to contact you. Yes you, dog and or cat lady.

    -If you love your job, don’t make it sound like going on a date is inconvient because you love your job so much. Ok, sure your a nurse or a special ed teacher (and why do they keep coming to the top of my list?) but don’t automatically assume that is the be all, end all of your life. You found your path to happiness, except your on a dating site.

    -So, you have traveled the world? You would love to go back? Constantly? How are you or me or “us” going to afford all of this traveling? What did you do to warrant such a passport filler? Its one thing to have past travels as a conversation opener, its another to post on a profile where you have been and how much you want to go back. Stop it. Not everyone has visited outside of the States, let alone their home state and bragging about it doesn’t improve your odds.

    -Stop saying “my perfect date would be…” because that puts me in a chair serving tea to your stuffed animals. Instead, put a short one or two liner of what you don’t like. Its not going to hurt my feelings. And if you are one of the open-minded types than say so and change your ‘looking for’ stats to reflect that.

    -If a guy emails you a conversation starter, and you are not interested PUSH the “no thanks” option. Don’t leave me hanging. The point is to get a conversation started. On my time on dating sites, I got maybe a 1 out of 100 email return response. I lost count after 400 ‘hellos’.

    -If you make it through the 1st date and are ‘kinda sorta’ liking him, be polite and tell me its not going to work out. Your not hurting my feelings. If you sincerely like him, let him know ASAP because if he thought the same way he is already making plans for date number 2.

    -There is no serial dater. We all are looking for someone who compliments us. Those who are not, are just looking for a one-night stand.

    -Put your insecurities aside and just go for it. We are all learning as we go.

    • February 21, 2010 at 9:32 pm

      I get what you are saying about the emails and how you would like to get a “no thanks” however, it’s all a numbers game. Girls get tons of emails in one day. I personally don’t go through them all. If you grab my attention with the subject line, I would open it. It’s pretty simple, if you don’t get a response from a girl, that needs to serve as the “No thanks button”. Like I said it’s a numbers game. We get tons of emails and many, many guys are doing the “copy/paste” just to get mass emails out….and Yes I have seen that done…a lot!

  3. February 20, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    I have dated online before, but not through pay sites, but through myspace.
    I liked girls through my friends profiles and met then through friends. No profile hacking needed, not pay in advanced to send a message.

    I also dated through AOL chats, AOL IM, MSN chants, MSN IM yahoo proifles and yahoo IM, pre-myspace, again, no profile hacking needed. Some people just got it, and some people don’t. However, I did meet my wife on my own merit at a club/bar. Dating was a fun adventure that I sort of kinda miss. It’s the act of the chase that’s fun part.

  4. FarleySD
    February 21, 2010 at 9:19 pm

    OMG, I almost want you to critique my online profile! LOL. I need to make my own list of Do’s and Don’t for females that I see online. Like:

    Don’t post all pictures of you with friends. I don’t want to guess which one you are.

    • February 21, 2010 at 9:27 pm

      So true…and you wouldn’t want to look at her pics of her and her friends and be like “you’re friend is hot” lol

  5. February 22, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    I would like to add (and this goes for any online profile) to please refrain from any of the “myspace” standard photos. You know the pic of you with your shirt off standing in front of the bathroom mirror. I know so many guys with very good bodies and the guys with good bodies I want to devourer are the ones that don’t even mention it or show it off. We live in California where a six pack is a dime a dozen 🙂

  6. Mark
    February 23, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    First Night Dating Tips for the Boyz:

    -If you’re picking up your date, don’t show up without sufficient gas in your car; stopping at a gas station on your date is lame, plus your hands will smell like oil.

    -Make sure you car is clean and doesn’t stink of fast food and whatever else. For girls, clean car = clean guy!

    -Brush your teeth and your tongue right before the date. Don’t show up to a date with yellow teeth, Crest Whitestrips ($20) are your bff.

    -Always pick up your date and drive her home. Open her car door to get in AND out. And even if it took you two hours to drive to meet your date, still offer to drive in your car. If she insists on driving, ask if she’ll let you drive her car. You’ll probably get a ‘no’ but put the offer out there.

    -If the restaurant you are going to has valet parking, don’t drive around the block ten times looking for a free spot on the street, and “I don’t trust valets” doesn’t cut it, don’t make your date walk and don’t be cheap over $6.

    -Don’t talk about sex, fetishes or the “craziest place you did it” stories on a first date.

    -As obvious as this sounds, turn your phone OFF and don’t look at it for the entire date. No texting, tweeting, twating, emailing, facebooking nothing.

    -If you met online, don’t go into details about the other girls you met.

    -Pay the bill! This is a dealbreaker of epic proportions. PAY THE F*CKING BILL. Pay for everything. Drinks, parking, tips, etc. If she is meeting you in her own car at the restaurant and there is valet parking, take her ticket and pay for her valet.

    -Do not bring flowers or gifts on a first or second date, it comes across as impersonal. If you make it past a second or third date, instead of flowers bring her something more personal like her favorite Otter Pop flavor or something more original (mine is grape BTW).

    -Don’t show up early to pick her up, and don’t show up too late. Girls usually run a little late anyways so get to her house early, wait in the car and then ring her five minutes past your date time, some girls find extreme punctuality (on the minute) annoying.

    -Don’t overdress or underdress on your first date. Do not wear Affliction or Monarchy t-shirts, shorts, track pants, cowboy boots or muscle shirts. Do not wear jeans with all white tennis shoes. Don’t wear a navy sports coat with tan slacks and blue dress shirt. Don’t wear a suit and tie (that’s debatable however). Dress “nice casual”. If you are clueless about how to dress, get advice from female friends or coworkers.

    -Don’t try so hard to impress your date, just be yourself, don’t tell her what you think she wants to hear, and don’t change your mind to suit her point of view if she disagrees with something you said. Don’t be someone you’re not, don’t tell her about jobs you don’t have, homes you don’t own, cars you don’t drive etc, it could come back to nip you in the ass if you two hit it off.

    -Don’t make comments about a girls height, weight, boobs, eyes, plastic surgery assumptions or hair.

    -Don’t wear your 25k Rolex on a first date. Breitling is pushing it. Bling isn’t going to impress the keepers.

    -When you are sitting down and eating, I don’t care if a resurrected from the dead naked Marilyn Monroe walks by your table, DO NOT look at other girls for more than a millisecond, especially down at their ass as they walk by your table, and I don’t care how cute your waitress is, don’t flirt with her even if you think it will impress your date that another girl finds you cute. Keep your attention glued to your date.

    -Don’t look down at your date’s cleavage no matter how tempting it is. That one time she’s in the middle of telling you a story about her dead grandmother and she glances over at you checking the mammary glands out is a dealbreaker, even if you were just inadvertently looking for a second out of habit. Just try to tune out the flesh on a first date and get to know her as a woman and human being, the rest will slowly reveal itself.

    -A first date is not a time to get into deep discussions about politics, abortion, religion, the death penalty, gun etc etc. If the conversation comes up, keep it civil, make your point but don’t turn the evening into a debating club.

    -Try to curb the profanity, and don’t talk with “all, goes and like” in every sentence. Talk to your lady like one.

    -Listen to your date, try not to do all the talking. You have only two ears and one mouth for a reason.

    -Don’t order for your date. She knows what she wants and speaks English.

    -Don’t get drunk. Even if you’re a happy drunk.

    -Don’t name drop. She doesn’t care.

    -Don’t kiss on the first date or second date. Most girls are terrified of the awkward kiss attempt or inappropriate hug at the car door. Towards the end of the date, make a joke about it, that you don’t kiss on the first date and that she won’t have to worry about the ‘tongue down the throat’ or ‘cop a feel’ horror stories. If she wants to make the first move and you’re into her, make the call then.

    -Most importantly, have fun. Just assume 9 out 10 dates won’t work out in the romantic department (you may make a lot of friends), if you have low expectations then you will always have a good time no matter what and won’t be disappointed, if it turns out to be a great date than it will be a pleasant surprise.

  7. Rich
    February 27, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    dang man thanks for those tips, i will try them and let you know! never thought about paying for her valet and taking care of all that car stuff, but i do usually go dutch on the bill, but not going in for kiss? that’s a toughie!

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