![\"\"](\"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/IMG_0438.jpg\" "\\"IMG_0438\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nWhat the F!? I didn’t know what to do except laugh in confusion, then send all of my friends a picture of it of course.<\/p>\n
Who would send this to me? Could not be anyone I had recently dated, well\u00a0\u00a0 because I hadn’t dated anyone recently lol.<\/p>\n
If that was a gift, it would have to be from someone who knew me…WELL. Not anyone I could think of.<\/p>\n
I asked some friends what they thought… “Well, guess the word is out that you’re a freak and would appreciate something like this!” One of my girlfriends said: “Haha! They thought it was so good they want you to make another one!”<\/p>\n
They? Who’s they? I’m very selective about who I’m intimate with and only a select few have seen THAT<\/em> side of me..<\/p>\n I don’t let my “freak flag fly” if you will …<\/p>\n Must be a joke…….<\/p>\n Or a mistake. I took out the packing slip.<\/p>\n Well, there was no need to spend $50 on a joke.<\/p>\n The “To” info was me…and the “From” info was also Me.<\/p>\n So I called and spoke to their customer service.<\/p>\n “Hi, I received this umm, gift from you guys but I didn’t order this. It has my information on the to and from info.”<\/p>\n Her: “Ok Ma’am, well it is possible that someone sent you an anonymous gift, then the to and from info would be the same”<\/p>\n Me: “Wrong address maybe?”<\/p>\n Her: “Well if they did put the wrong address, it was placed 3 times incorrectly, and it still matches your name”<\/p>\n Me: “Ok, well the credit card info must be different unless someone used my credit card info?”<\/p>\n They used a Visa. Mine was a Mastercard.<\/p>\n Me: “Well the billing info must be different..it has to match the credit card in order for the transaction to go through?”<\/p>\n Her: “No Ma’am, it doesn’t”<\/p>\n Me: “So you have NO other info whatsoever, on who might have sent this to me? Umm, do you know WHAT the gift is?”<\/p>\n Her: “Hahaaaa, yes Ma’am, I can see the order on the screen. It is so strange that we have no other info, it looks like you got an anonymous gift!”<\/p>\n Me: “It is strange! If someone is going to send me something…they should at least send me something I can use!”<\/p>\n Well she was no help. I thought to just return it.<\/p>\n I figured, I didn’t want it…it never occurred to me to just throw it away….or try to see if they’d let me exchange it for something else at least!<\/p>\n I was leaving to New York for trip #2\u00a0 in 2 days and my parents were coming to stay at my house while I was gone…I had to hide the thing.\u00a0 It came in this over-sized box!<\/p>\n I could see it now..with my luck my Dad would find it: “Mija, what ees thees thing here? I’m gonna tell ju Mom what I find here and she gonna wheep ju butt”<\/p>\n I had to hide it somewhere they wouldn’t think to look. So I hid it under a huge old pile of clothes I was getting ready to give to goodwill….then took that pile and put it in the guest bedroom in the closet, and then put, 2 suitcases and boxes around it. Inconspicuous enough?<\/p>\n I would figure out what to do with it when I got home.<\/p>\n Well, I forgot all about it….<\/p>\n I just came across it today, as I was organizing things in my closet.<\/p>\n I personally think this thing was sent to me by mistake…and somewhere, someone’s\u00a0 wondering “What in the World happened to my Clone-A-Vagina?!!!”<\/p>\n Should I keep it? Where though? My “goody” drawer is already overstuffed. Is this something I could put in a safety deposit box?<\/p>\n Maybe I will use it someday for a boyfriend? Like if he travels a lot, I can say “Oh don’t forget the portable vag?” Yes? Or wait for a special occasion like our anniversary or\u00a0 a Christmas gift<\/a> , and put it in a nice box with big bows.<\/p>\n Seems easy enough to do…<\/p>\n “1. Cut a whole in the box”<\/p>\n “2. put my vag in that box”<\/p>\n “3. Let him open the box”<\/p>\n “And that’s the way you do it!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Sometime in January, I was waiting for one of my new cook books from amazon.com to arrive. Finally, one day, the UPS guy rings my doorbell. I ran downstairs.\u00a0 I knew what he had for me…. I had been waiting…<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n