{"id":35,"date":"2009-05-10T13:27:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-10T20:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/?p=35"},"modified":"2009-05-10T13:27:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-10T20:27:00","slug":"put-out-or-get-out-im-jonesin-and-this-is-gnarly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/2009\/05\/put-out-or-get-out-im-jonesin-and-this-is-gnarly\/","title":{"rendered":"PUT OUT OR GET OUT! I’M JONESIN AND THIS IS GNARLY!"},"content":{"rendered":"

THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.<\/span> <\/o:p> <\/p>\n

Disclaimer:<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\n

The following are based on true events, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date\u2026. lol<\/span>!<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\n

I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I’m just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. \ud83d\ude09<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

The names have been changed to protect the innocent. <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I don’t claim to be a <\/span>dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them…yes, I think I might make this a habit\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\n

And for clarification\u2026dating is for research..I will not give into “selling out” and you will not see any symptoms of “bitchassness<\/span>“…on my part anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

-Your feedback and comments are welcome…all in the name of research! ;p<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Chapter 9
<\/span> <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Well folks it\u2019s happened\u2026.<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/span>Now, I have heard of this happening, seen it in the movies but I have NEVER been dumped for holding out\u2026until now<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I met someone and he had been different than what I had been dating. <\/span>As I got to know him, I was thinking wow, this is someone that really might change my mind about wanting to stay single. <\/span>He was attractive\u2026and actually AVAILABLE! No exes looming about, no emotional baggage, and I got the impression that there was nothing stopping him from being open to a possible relationship in the future. <\/span>He had me actually thinking about being open to one as well. <\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

He was romantic which I had been missing, and it felt amazing. <\/span>I was excited. <\/span>He loved animals too. In fact had dogs of his own that he got from a shelter. <\/span>\u201cThis is what I\u2019m talking about!\u201d I thought. <\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I liked him but I wanted to take it easy as I have and had been recently dealing with boys, who had either been unavailable, rebounding, or seeing me as the \u201cin the meantime\u201d girl and I decided that I wanted to give myself emotionally and physically to someone that I felt a strong connection with. <\/span>I knew that might take a while but I figured this guy, as much of a gentleman as he was, wouldn<\/span>\u2019t mind at all. <\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

We had gone out a couple times and I had an amazing time with him. <\/span>No pressure.<\/o:p><\/p>\n

One night we had gone out, we had had a little too much to drink and I told him he shouldn<\/span>\u2019t drive home, he should stay\u2026.and sleep on my couch. <\/span>He didn<\/span>\u2019t have a problem with it\u2026.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

On the next date, he made me dinner. <\/span>I was still trying to get to know him. I was busy and so was he, so there would be a week to 2 weeks in between seeing each other. It was fine with me, I wasn<\/span>\u2019t in any rush and we hadn<\/span>\u2019t had ANY discussion about our feelings or intentions. <\/span>So I figured this was just a great time to get to know each other\u2026.FINALLY, a guy with patience! <\/span>He even actually said \u201cI have the patience of a monk\u201d. Awesome! <\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n

Again, a little much to drink\u2026.I told him to just stay. <\/span>I was getting ready to go to bed\u2026.alone and he stops me. \u201cIt\u2019s getting harder to be around you and not sleep in your bed\u201d <\/span>Waiiiiit<\/span>\u2026. it was odd that he brought that up to me..didn<\/span>\u2019t he just say he had the patience of a monk? Maybe I heard Monk but he said \u201cmonk-ey<\/span>?\u201d He responded with \u201cIs there an issue?\u201d I responded with: \u201cNo issue, I just want us to really get to know each other first\u201d <\/span>He said: \u201cWell I\u2019m not really used to this, but hey, if it doesn<\/span>\u2019t feel right for you, that\u2019s cool, and so you know, if it doesn<\/span>\u2019t feel right next time we are together don\u2019t feel pressured.\u201d <\/span>I said ok<\/span> but that whole conversation didn<\/span>\u2019t really sit right with me, I didn<\/span>\u2019t want to overanalyze<\/span> though. <\/span>He said he was fine to drive home so I sent him on his way as I didn<\/span>\u2019t want him to start dry humping my leg. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Turns out, I did hear wrong\u2026way, way wrong\u2026.<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

The last time (and final) time we went out\u2026. We went out for a nice dinner then on his boat where he brought his dogs too. What a perfect night. <\/span>I was enjoying myself. <\/span>It started to get late and he asked me, \u201cDo you want to go home after your glass of wine, or?\u201d<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

So I said \u201cyeah that would be great if you can take me home after I finish this.\u201d<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Then he began on a rant that has stuck in my mind and is possibly the reason I am man hating currently <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Here is a run down of our dialogue\u2026and yes, this is pretty much how it went down.<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Him: \u201cok<\/span>, fine, but what is the issue Lori?\u201d <\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhat do you mean? There is no issue\u201d<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Him: (Stands up and is now yelling) \u201cWell I mean c\u2019mon<\/span>, kissing on date 2 or 3 I understand but dates 5 and 6 kissing!? \u201cDo you even like me?\u201d (Oh brother, have I heard that one before! What a line!)<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Completely taken back by his sudden change in behavior, I immediately headed towards the front of the boat and said, \u201cok<\/span> I\u2019m ready to go home right now!\u201d <\/span>He continued yelling at me about how I was missing out on life and that it\u2019s just going to pass me by and how I can\u2019t see what\u2019s in front me. <\/span>Really? Because right now, all I see is a horny 12 year old boy in front of me\u2026this guy went from gentleman to jackass in 0.6 seconds. <\/span>I actually had a chance to think: \u201cWow, yeah the way you are acting makes me want to rip my clothes right off!\u201d<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cSo let me get this straight, you\u2019re mad because I\u2019m not sleeping with you?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Him: \u201cI don\u2019t think you understand how patient I have been, but I have needs just like everyone else Lori\u201d.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/span>I told him this whole thing was just turning me off, he responded by saying \u201cWell the fact that we aren<\/span>\u2019t intimate is turning ME off!\u201d (What a douche bag)<\/o:p><\/p>\n

\u201cI mean usually a girl makes me wait till date 2 or 3 not longer than that unless there is an issue!\u201d. <\/span>I yelled back and said \u201cthen go date those girls!\u201d <\/span>He then said, \u201cI\u2019m not mad because you aren<\/span>\u2019t sleeping with me.\u201d At that point, he wasn<\/span>\u2019t making any sense and we just got in his car and I kept silent on the ride back to my car. <\/span>He kept contradicting everything he was saying on the way. <\/span>He said we should discuss this but I told him there was nothing to talk about, he then said \u201cOk<\/span> don\u2019t you put this off on me, this is your issue!\u201d He kept talking as if something was wrong with me. <\/span>I kept telling him, the night was perfect until now\u2026(Until you started crying like a whiney<\/span> bitch!) NOT ATTRACTIVE. <\/span>As he kept going on and on, I thought about just sitting on his face to get him to shut up. <\/span>I was counting down the seconds till we arrived at my car. <\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

This is what I was trying to avoid. <\/span>I have been that girl, if I don\u2019t like you, I might just decide to take what I want and not talk to you afterwards\u2026.YEAH I SAID IT! <\/span>And then when you call, because you WILL call again, I won\u2019t answer, and you will wonder what happened and cry and I will go on about my happy life. Hey guys do it, why can\u2019t we? <\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

So I wanted this to be different, it seemed like we had quite a bit in common and had such a great time when we were out together so why not invest some actual time and get to know him as a person. <\/span>I was quite the lady so I held my tongue but I was thinking \u201cWhy did you have to go and open your fucking mouth? <\/span>Now you\u2019ve<\/span> gone and ruined everything! Which sucks for you because now you\u2019ve<\/span> ruined any chance of finding out what it\u2019s like to be with me\u2026.fuckin<\/span> idiot.\u201d <\/span>So I get out his car and hopped into mine without saying much but couldn<\/span>\u2019t hold my tongue any longer and as I am getting into my car I say, \u201cHey! Absorb this moment, because THIS right here, is what the fuck is wrong with you!\u201d<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

A day later he apologized for yelling at me and insisted he\u2019s patient and isn<\/span>\u2019t trying to pressure me, but I don\u2019t think there\u2019s any coming back from this. <\/span>He admitted to overanalyzing<\/span> situations and dissecting them far too often. Sounds like he is the one with the issue.<\/o:p><\/p>\n

For the record, this isn<\/span>\u2019t me saying \u201coh I think after 10 dates I will sleep with him.\u201d <\/span>I just felt I wanted to get to know him better, and what the f? <\/span>It\u2019s not my fault you have no game. <\/span><\/o:p><\/p>\n

I can now say I have officially experienced this first hand\u2026PUT OUT OR GET OUT! <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I guess sometimes there is miscommunication\u2026it happens. <\/span>I have gotten the advice from both sides, to give it another chance and from others to just let it go\u2026but a few things put me over the edge\u2026even though I tried to look past these things\u2026I just can\u2019t\u2026.forgive me but I just can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have a problem with the following phrases but I have a problem with the OVER-USE of them: \u201cGnarly\u201d, \u201cDag nabbit<\/span>\u201d, \u201cPickled\u201d (In place of drunk), \u201cstoked\u201d, \u201cjonesin<\/span>\u201d, and calling me a \u201ctwerp\u201d. And if that\u2019s not a big deal, this should raise a red flag\u2026saying things like \u201cI have used coke, and but now only once or twice a year maybe.\u201d (or have I not been dating enough that this is normal conversation for people?)<\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/span>And guys if a lady invites you over and you are feeling comfortable with her great but still, don\u2019t ever, EVER put your feet on her brand new coffee table\u2026.EVER. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Tips: <\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

*Guys please refrain from asking a girl why she hasn<\/span>\u2019t given it up after date #3. <\/span>She may have been thinking about doing it and now any chance of getting it\u2026is gone\u2026yeah do you see it floating away from you? <\/span>It proves two things: 1, you really do have no patience and 2: you have NO GAME. <\/span>A guy with game doesn<\/span>\u2019t have to ask why she\u2019s not sleeping with him. <\/span>It will happen when it\u2019s right and naturally, not forced. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Oh well, back to the drawing board \ud83d\ude09<\/o:p><\/p>\n

Still single, <\/o:p><\/p>\n

-Lo<\/o:p><\/p>\n

<\/o:p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE. Disclaimer: The following are based on true events, these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date\u2026. lol! I am in no way saying that I am the perfect…<\/p>\n

Read more →<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dating-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions\/116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/adventuresofasinglegirl.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}