Miss Communication

THE DATING CHRONICLES OF A SAN DIEGO SINGLE.

Disclaimer:

The following stories are TRUE; these are not an invitation to ask me out on a date…. lol!

I am in no way saying that I am the perfect date, I’m just explaining my side and offering some helpful tips for dating in general to keep it fun. 😉

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I don’t claim to be a dating guru but have just been out there actively dating and I believe many of my experiences are no different than yours, I just decided to write about them…yes, I think I might make this a habit…

And for clarification…dating is for research..I will not give into “selling out” and you will not see any symptoms of “bitchassness”…on my part anyway.

-Your feedback and comments are welcome…all in the name of research! lol

Chapter 11

“MISS COMMUNICATION”

It is said that Women fall in love between their ears. I have, and I’m sure other Women have, girlfriends that (as we all can) get caught up when a Man begins communication with us via phone calls/texts/emails. What does that all mean? They are interested? Yes, but to what extent?

When Women say Men are complicated, it is simply put, that we often make them that way. We tend to draw our own conclusions on their behavior, and create these elaborate stories between ourselves and our girlfriends as to why they act the way they do. I’m not trying to give guys credit but they are far less complicated than we are. I don’t take that, (and ladies neither should you) as an insult. The fact that we are more “complicated” makes us far more interesting than men 😉

Here is the reality of things Ladies:
Men aren’t necessarily looking for a relationship when they call, text or email everyday. They are however, looking for companionship. Let’s not get the two confused. COMPANIONSHIP IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP.
Ok, so what does it all mean? It means friends, oh you mean boyfriend? No, FRIENDS. Many Women set themselves up for some serious disappointment when they think communication via phone email or text is going to lead them to a relationship.
The problem is what our minds do with simple conversation. It will go from a casual 5 minute conversation with a Man to a 3 hour long conversation with our girlfriends about that 5 minute conversation.

So guys, you call/text/email the following: “Hey there, just wanted to say hi! Have a good day”
Her thought process (and common mistake in translation): “He’s thinking of me! He misses me!”
(Real translation) you: “Just wanted to say hi” (pretty simple stuff)

Don’t over analyze a guys’ communication with you. When you meet someone it shouldn’t be looked at past that meeting. Unfortunately, sometimes when Women meet Men, we often upon first meeting, if we like them, even as conversation is flowing, are planning the wedding in our heads, and seeing what our future babies will look like when we should just be focusing on getting to know them as people.
What’s a good solution to this problem? My advice is to not put all of your eggs in one basket, until it has been discussed and is clear that you are both on the same page. It’s not fool proof but, it makes it more difficult to be disappointed when you have a few options. If we don’t focus on just one, we won’t get so obsessed in thought about what all that communication means.

“Why did he stop calling!?”

…..Yeah if a Guy stops calling we immediately begin obsessing over why.
Ladies, we will drive ourselves crazy trying to figure it out! We may NEVER know! So why beat yourself up? If you have a few other options, your social calendar will be too full to have the time to sit and question that for long.

This comes down to the girls. Keep it casual, keep it fun until he proves he deserves your full time attention, then decide where you want to go from there.
I love being a girl…but I do feel bad for Men sometimes, when a month to a girl may seem enough time to establish a relationship, to a guy that may not be enough time to establish anything other than companionship; be it friends or friends with benefits but maybe not an actual relationship. So instead of trying to figure out if that’s where it’s heading just enjoy life! Having a few prospects always makes dating more interesting anyway and fun! Like one of my best girlfriends says, “Guys are like Lays Chips…you can’t have just one!!” True….true.. 😉

Again, it’s not fool proof but is a great way to avoid the “why isn’t he calling conversation” with your girlfriends. Don’t expect them to call, but know at the same time that they will because you are just that great! If he doesn’t or if he’s calling for companionship and you want a relationship, you will be too busy being too fucking fabulous and living your life to the fullest to worry about the guy who doesn’t realize how great you are. He should want to snag you and make sure you don’t want to focus on anyone else! If not, then say it with me girls “Not my problem!”

So remember, when meeting with a guy, focus on that time, on them as people, not as future husbands, not as future “Babies Daddies” but just as simple human beings looking for companionship.
Let them prove they are worthy of more than that. Until then, indulge in that greasy bag of chips girls 😉