Adventures in Vacation Sex

Summertime and the livin’ is sleazy.  Yup as the weather heats up, so do our hormones.   Everyone is wearing less and it has many of us wanting to do more, especially girls.  They are sluttin’ it up on vacation…and it’s OK!

You go on vacation for some rest and relaxation.   It’s probably a time you don’t care about calories, you plan to spend your days with tons of drinks and a lot of recuperation.  Sex should definitely be on the menu because there is nothing like getting back to reality, with a glow on your skin and a smile on your face! 

Ladies, it is of the utmost importance to always act like a lady…except when you’re on vacation.   Girls, this is the one time you are allowed to act less than ladylike.  You are always hearing about how no matter what you do, there is always a double standard in sex and sure you’d like to act like guys do, but it doesn’t seem to work out for you.  Well, here’s your chance.  If you are down….to get down, you can go on vacation and release your so-called “inner slut” and not worry about judgement because chances are (and you want this) you won’t be seeing him again.

Guys, this is the perfect time you can have sex guilt-free.  You don’t have to worry about the awkward phone call the next day or the obligation of making sure you don’t hurt her feelings because the girl that does vacation sex right doesn’t want to hear from you after.

If you are able to do this right, you’ll be able to get in, get off, and get out.

So, hey girl, feel like you want to jump into the sex pool?  Here are some simple rules if you are thinking of taking a dip on your trip .

  • *Have a plan. Like a military mission, if you are with a group or even just another girlfriend, make sure they understand the plan and stick to it.  Maybe have some code words, hand gestures, whatever, just make sure you are always on the same page as your party or it might ruin your chances of a mission accomplished.
  • Once you find a guy you want to hook up with, make eye contact, flirt, then quickly find out if he’s available and make your move.
  • Keep to small talk.  You don’t need to know how many brothers and sisters he has.  You don’t care.  The only thing you care about is if  he’s aware you are about to take what you want – no prisoners!
  • Once you get yours. Get up, do not nap.  Put your clothes on, move, quickly out.  If you don’t, you are leaving the door open to unwanted things like dreaded conversation.
  • NO sleeping over, or cuddling for that matter.  Refer to bullet point 1* Have a plan*(*You don’t want to get into a situation where you are hooking up with one person and your friend is hooking up with the other and they decide for the both of you, you will stay there.  Make sure whoever is with you and wants to participate knows the plan!) -Ladies, we can be suckers for a cuddle sesh, DON’T DO IT.  It’s better this way.  You don’t have to worry about hearing him snore, no need to make him a sandwich after.  You get to go back to your comfy bed.
  • Do not exchange information. -No phone numbers, what do you have to talk about?  You don’t even need to know his name really.  No Facebook info, or Twitter info, or anything like that.  Keep it simple and off the social media radar (All relationships should be kept off the social media radar anyway) -You don’t need to hook up with them again.  You move on to someone else.  It’s vacation, you WILL find someone else to hook up with.  No recycling hook-ups, got it?
  • Do not get caught up in the moment beyond sex.  You may be vacationing in a romantic place.  You are walking along the beach on the way back to a guys hotel room and the light from the moon (probably along with some strong beer goggles) starts to make your hook up look like your future baby daddy.  You will think you are falling in love.  You.are.not. OK?  You’ve seen the Bachelorette.  Sure, on vacation, it’s easy to fall in love.  It’s when they get back to the real world that they realize it’s not all roses and rainbows.  Not to say love can’t happen on vacation but more than likely, it won’t.  It falls along the same lines as meeting the love of your life at the bar.  You certainly can, but you probably won’t.

……and the NUMBER ONE rule when sexationing:

  • BE SAFE!  Girls make sure you are carrying protection.  Do not depend on the guy to do it.  Show him you mean business by being prepared.  The last thing you need is returning home and finding you’ve brought any unwanted souvenirs such as unwanted rugrats or STDs!

 

What are your rules for vacation sex?

 

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