I don’t date guys prettier than me…period. If you know what a “Guido” is, I have just learned, they don’t just come in Italian….they come in MEXICAN TOO!
I got a match.com email from a guy who had one picture. It was so far away, I couldn’t tell what he looked like. We had exchanged a few emails, so I told him to just send me a few more pics.
When I got his pictures, he also accompanied it with this:
“It’s kind of a busy time for me because I’m opening up a new love coaching business here in town. My first event is on Feb. 13th and I’m hosting a Masquerade Ball for the hottest singles in town. Should be a lot of fun and a great way to get my name out there. I’m pretty excited. 🙂 Then after that I’m headed to Vancouver for the Olympics. So that should be a blast making new friends from around the world as well! ”
I saw his pictures and the first one he sent was of him “flexing” in the mirror. You know, that cheesy camera phone shot. What.the.fuck. I’m shaking my head as I proceed to the other two. Another in the mirror camera shot. This time he’s pointing at himself. Kind of like The Uncle Sam “I want you” photo…except, no, wrong, I did not want him…at all. Especially when I got a close up shot of his hair. That thing, must take, at least a gallon Tres Flores or Aqua Net. Bad call dude…..oh and get this, he’s got streaks, like highlights in his hair. This dude is high maintenance, and I’m not about to start dating a guy who is going to be asking ME to drive him like Miss Daisy to the hair salon on Saturday. I was afraid to look further…..
Another pic…of him with Chuck E. Cheese. Wow, not even smiling there! Dude, YOU ARE AT FUCKING CHUCK E. CHEESE! Who tries to look hardcore at a place like that!?
I was waiting for him to send me some photos of him fist pumpin to some house music.
I normally wouldn’t have responded with anything but the guy is going to be charging people for dating advice!!
Also, his email had his name as “False” as in, I got the impression he was sending it from some fake account. Real slick dude.
So this is what I responded with….consider it a public service:
Thanks for the email. Ok, so you are opening up a love coaching business? How did you fall into that? Just curious.
I would like to tell you…I know it’s not for me to say anything and I would like to say up front, I am in no way trying to offend you-
I am by no means a dating expert but I can I tell you, I talk to A LOT of women, and the pics you sent me seem like you are a little into yourself. Most women don’t appreciate the whole “flexing” pose or pictures where it’s just too cool to smile. It goes right along with the guys who pose next to their car etc.
I like a humble down to Earth kind of guy who smiles in his pictures and unfortunately from your pictures, it doesn’t look like you are.
I just thought you should know because you are going to start a love coaching biz and since online dating is such a big part of dating period now a days, pictures speak volumes. Your clients are going to attract certain women just by the pictures they post.
Like the girls who post EVERY single picture of themselves at the club, they attract guys who like club rats. I am not that girl, don’t care what car you drive or how many days you are the gym. It’s so easy to work on the outside. I appreciate a nice body but that alone wont even get you to date number one with me.
Oh and the fake email account, you might want to change your name to something other than “false” as I can clearly see that it’s not your real account. That probably won’t go down well, with most other women either.
Take care and lay off the hair gel.
Check out this video to get an almost exact idea of what this guy looked like 😉
2 comments for “The Mexican Guido”