When You’re Not His Girlfriend

Ladies, let’s stop with the excuses shall we?  When a guy isn’t calling you his girlfriend, it’s because he doesn’t want you to be.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you but when you are there, fully committed, without him having to actually commit…..why would he?

If you find that you are not happy with where you are in the relationship because he’s not calling you his girlfriend…KEEP DATING OTHER PEOPLE.  Keep your options open.  Don’t stop your life for him, don’t change any of your previous commitments to be with him.  Keep dating. If a relationship is what you find you want, then date until you find a guy who will commit to you in that way. Speak up about what you want but after you do, don’t badger him about it.  Tell him once, that’s all you need, trust me.  Bringing it up more than once will kill any happiness you have in the relationship and if he’s not happy and the relationship is only getting worse because of all the badgering, why would he THEN commit? Not happening.

So how do you know when you should be boyfriend and girlfriend? That is up to you. One thing I will tell you? DON’T let your girlfriends decide that for you.  Most of the time your girlfriends give you advice when they have no business doing so.  They don’t mean to do it but their advice isn’t your life, not your situation so how do they know what’s best? Don’t let them decide that your relationship isn’t their version of a fairytale and therefore means it’s crap.  Most of the time, for the record, the shitty advice will come from girlfriends who don’t have, have never had, a long lasting relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. Guys do this too. Guys will sit around with guy friends and get shit about being in a relationship.  Sometimes a guy will get influenced by the amount of crap thrown his way, that it may in fact affect his decision on calling you his girlfriend…and how attractive is that if a guy doesn’t have the balls to make a decision on his own when it comes to his relationship? I know..soooo hot.

Don’t commit to a guy who’s not willing to commit to you, and DON’T sit around waiting for a guy to commit to you because he has “potential” to do so.  See your relationship for what it is and not what it could be.  I’m not saying to up and leave your technical “boyfriend” because things aren’t roses and rainbows, no relationship is. In fact, I almost worry about those relationships that start out with no issues…often times those burn out quicker than they even begin.  I am saying that if you aren’t happy about the progression or lack thereof, you need to take some sort of control and change it. Not change them, change you. Do what you need to do to be happy. Begging him to be your boyfriend won’t get him to be. Let him be a man and let him realize you’re a woman who should be locked down (in a good way) or someone else will.

So take a moment…to remember your worth, because although one guy may not see it, that’s not your problem, and there is one guy in your future who will.

You’re amazing,

-Lo

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