I was disturbed by the sound of a neighbor getting it on last night. I know which neighbor it was and wanted to help him out…and maybe by posting this, it might prevent some fellas from experiencing the same thing….or rather, prevent your neighbors, even if brief, from having to experience what I felt was something out of National Geographic….
If you are going to have sex with a girl and leave your window open so others (me) can hear it…I offer you two tips:
1. Make sure the girl you’re getting down with sounds GOOD. Nothing worse than a chick sounding like a dog whimpering or a piglet squealing -NOT SEXY.
2. Make sure YOU can last longer than a minute. Yes, it’s good on my part that I don’t have to hear your girl mimicking sounds like that of a peacock or cat in heat for long, but then, I’m just sad for you because now I know that you can’t last long and you know what? Maybe THAT’S why she was making those noises..because she’s sad that it’s over before it even begins.
If you don’t take my advice, don’t be surprised when I see you in the elevator (Dude in 303) hug you, and simply say “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Be smart about this guys ok? I mean yeah, maybe you want your neighbors to know you’re having sex but it should sound like sex first of all, and second of all, if you’re going to put on a show, make it last longer than a commercial break k?
You’re welcome.
-Lo
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