Staring out of my bedroom window at the Downtown LA skyline just taking it all in…because I don’t know when I’ll have this view again.
It’s not like I haven’t been appreciating it. Everyday, I have. The hustle and bustle of Sunset boulevard and although I’m directly below it..my apartment is so quiet..aside from hearing that fucking neighbor of mine have sex…all has been great.
A lot of great things had been happening. My writing was just starting to get noticed on a professional level. I find this a huge accomplishment seeing as even though I am a very confident person, when it comes to my writing, I can lack that confidence at times.
I just had my first paid article published and had gotten incredible feedback about my writing style. I was so encouraged…I knew this was just the beginning. My writing career would start taking off and it would start to open doors for me. I had set goals, wrote them out, and everything I had set out to do thus far, had happened. The only appropriate thing to do was celebrate. So I did just that. I left town to celebrate with friends and family. I was on cloud 9. Nowhere to go but up!
Oh yeah, and I had just quit my job. I was working at a gym with great women but it was just that, a job and I wanted to feel fulfilled. I wanted to dedicate my time to working toward a career and I felt if I didn’t leave, I would never do that. It was a brilliant plan…or so I thought.
So there was the fire. Set, and just enough pressure to really have to start performing to see my dreams start to come together.
I literally told my roommate when I left for vacation: “I feel like I’m on top of the world right now! It feels amazing!”
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Off I went to celebrate goal achievement…then BAM. It was during my vacation that my roommate informed me she would not be able to pay rent because she was without a job and couldn’t find one in time to pay. I was upset..and disappointed. My thoughts became frantic..my mind and heart were sent into panic. What the fuck are we going to do?? I kept thinking, “Can’t find a job? I just quit mine! They are everywhere aren’t they?!”
After my brief yet intense panic (and half a bottle of Tequila), I had time to gather myself and realize, her not being able to pay was not just her fault but equally mine. See, she’s not just my roommate, she’s like my sister. I shouldn’t have left her alone to figure out how she was going to make rent. I should have kept my job until she was able to obtain employment. I could have quit after. I only thought about taking care of me…not her…and friends don’t do that. - NO MAN LEFT BEHIND. Our military careers had brought our friendship together over 13 years ago… I could not leave her now.
It takes two. We both put ourselves here….and now, we have to move. Whether I could help us out temporarily or not is no matter. It wouldn’t last. We should just move now and save….
Friends have come out of the woodwork offering their spare bedrooms, no charge. Even people offering to pay our rent!! So wonderful how friends will rush to your side when you need them. It’s not like I ever doubted anyone but man is this one hell of a reminder of how precious our friendships are….
but I can’t bear the thought of doing that to them…. on any level.
So-I’m moving home to figure out my next move.
The upside (if you want to see it that way) is that I have the luxury of not working. I’ll make enough to help my Mom and Dad with any bills while I’m taking up room in their house, travel if I want, and still save.
But so it’s clear…this ain’t no party! My priority is to get things figured out and move out quickly. I don’t need any (more) dating strikes against me…because of course, this will all go over well: “I live at home…yeah, with my parents….what do I do for work? Oh, that….yeah, I don’t have a job either.”
Which is funny because I just wrote about the percentage of people that have moved back home in this economy and I thought: “Wow, I’m glad I haven’t had to move back home.”
Here’s the thing-shit.happens. Sure it’s a setback but it sets me up for a comeback. People in my life know I don’t wilt under pressure…
“The strongest oak tree of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.”
- Napoleon Hill
They say good things fall apart so better things can come together. I think they say that to help people cope…
All I know is I want back in LA already but who knows…maybe now I’ll become a vagabond? Or move to New York,or to Europe..my passion for adventure can take me anywhere….I just didn’t think it would take me back to my parents house first…to start over.
I will not only learn from but triumph from this.
“I’ve failed over & over & over again in my life & that is why I succeed.” -Michael Jordan
Let the adventure begin…