Masturbation Nation

I just discovered that May is “Masturbation Month”… this makes me sad. Why? Because I believe there should be more than a month dedicated to it. In case you weren’t aware (then you clearly haven’t read anything I’ve written and you should be ashamed of yourself) I am a firm believer in “Self Love”. ….

A few years ago while on vacation, my back suddenly went out. I had no idea what caused it but I went to the local chiropractor. After he adjusted me, he gave me a little massage, and when massaging my arms and hands asked : “Do you play tennis?..Because in massaging your right seems you may have ‘Tennis Elbow’.”

I could feel myself starting to blush. My first and most honest thought was: “Oh God, it’s because I masturbate too much.”

I almost blurted it out without thinking but then caught myself and responded with ” No, I don’t play tennis, I am right handed though so umm, I mean, I use my right hand for writing and…..stuff.”  Oh well, I was in a foreign country what did he care? Or what did I care for that matter? I didn’t really, just never been in a situation where I thought I might have to explain what I use my right hand for…  I still giggle when I think about that.

Every single guy I know masturbates.  I’ve heard there are women out there who don’t.  They are probably quite uptight and rigid…It’s just not healthy if you ask me.  I understand if you are in a relationship and don’t masturbate……Ok, I’m lying, no I don’t. I believe in a relationship you should still as well.

Answer to the Problems of Our Nation? Masturbation

It’s relatively simple. The act of sex, masturbation included of course, is the ultimate stress reliever.

Depressed? Masturbate. Can’t sleep? Masturbate. Having a GREAT day already? Masturbate to celebrate.

Ladies, having a bad day but have no time to relax? When you get good at masturbation, it is entirely possible to have a quick masturbation session in about 60-90 seconds…..which now thinking about it, may be why the doc said he thought I might have “Tennis Elbow.” Whatever, sometimes you’re in a pinch ok? Once you “handle yourself”..I guarantee your day will go a lot smoother!

We would have LESS war if everyone masturbated!!  You feel too good after to want to kill anyone..if anything, you probably just want to chill out for a bit.

“I am in a Relationship, I don’t need to do that.”

Yes. You. Do.

Masturbation is healthy, even in a relationship because it can show you what feels good and what gets you to respond, then you can show your partner. Gentlemen, if you are in a relationship and you have a problem with premature ejaculation…masturbation can help with that.

In a only ever really becomes a problem when you’d rather masturbate, than be with your partner…ever.

If you are single, then it doesn’t get any more safe! You don’t have to worry about STD’s and there is no worry about your partner disappointing you in bed.

Overall, solo sex is just…S.M.A.R.T.

S elf

M asturbators

A re

R eally

T errific

Start the Revolution!

So, I believe it’s time to change things up. Not just dedicate a month, but start a revolution. ….and name it “Masturbation Nation”….who’s with me?!

We could change the World! Everyone would be a lot more peaceful!

How do we do this? It’s simple. Educate those around you, make them more aware of themselves.  Maybe even have stickers to pass out that say: “Have you masturbated today?” It’s for the greater good! We can wear t-shirts, have know, spread education:)

Ok, so I may have gone off on a tangent… just a tiny bit…but I hope you understand what I’m saying. YOU are beautiful. YOU are sexy…and YOU deserve to treat yourself well…LOVE yourself enough to not be afraid of what the physical act of “loving yourself” will do to your image in your eyes or in the eyes of anyone else.

Be happy, be healthy, masturbate:)


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